None of These Will Last Forever, Dear.

Two days ago I listened to my friend’s story about she is going to meet someone new (more specific, a new guy). She heard about this guy from her friends who are also this guy’s friends. She heard about his hobbies, his attitude, a bit of his personality, his grades on college, and some other stuffs about him. She even online-stalked him several times through his Facebook account and gets attracted with him right away. I told her that it was a good thing because it will bring her to something that supposed to be fun. I mean, meeting with someone new is always exciting for me. Since it’ll bring so many new things to learn, and who knows that this guy might as well become the next boyfriend for her? So I encourage her to go for it. Make a subtle move. Tell her friends to introduce him to her. Anything, just, do something for it.

Yet she said she’s too afraid to start. She doesn’t know what to do up till this day. She’s afraid that she will get rejected and it will worsen her self-esteem. And that she doesn’t want to get hurt from that. The next thing happened was, I told her that it’s up to her to make any chance happens or to just let it slipped away like that.

Story continues to yesterday.

Yesterday, I read one of my other friend’s note on Facebook which tells girls to be careful while dealing with guys, since they could eventually hurt you, disappoint you,  make you cry, leave you, and tear your heart apart. The note tells us about the danger of being blinded by love. It also says that it would be better to not give 100% of our love to our boyfriends (if we have one, I mean), and that 10% is already enough for them. So when we break up, we won’t get really hurt since we still got the rest 90% of it.

“Jangan pernah 100% cinta sama pacar, cukup 10% saja maksimal. kenapa? Karena kalau putus, kamu tidak akan terlalu terluka karena masih punya 90% lainnya.”

This might sounds cliche for us since it has been told over many times. Maybe some of us agree with it, since being hurt is not so enjoyable, so we better save our feelings for later, for the best who’ll come up in the end.

But some others may disagree with it, just like I do.

As for me, everything that comes in our lives must have reason(s) to be happened. Every single good thing, bad thing that happens always brings something for us.

We might have dealt with some problems in lives. We faced ourselves with difficult situations, got hurt, got sick, financially troubled, got fired from our jobs, had been unemployed for a long time, had a broken-heart, failed to achieve something we dreamed for so long, lost our homes, lost our wealth, had been in a war, had family member(s) with terminal illness (or maybe ourselves are), the death of our loved ones, and some other things that adversely affected our lives.

Yet we also have experienced some great things. We’ve graduated from our schools, having a great family who supports us, got a promotion, got married, got children, got to study abroad, our business went well, got enough food, got enough sleep, fell in love  (maybe even found the love of our lives), traveled to other cities and maybe countries,  got enough gadget to use in our leisure times, visited beautiful places in this world, and many other  things that bring us to the top of our world.

As those things come in rotation and simultaneously, we might noted that none of these things would  last forever. The good things will end sometimes and being replaced with something bad, vice versa. Now, back to our story before, if we know that these things (the good things and the bad things) won’t be last forever in our lives, why bother to hold in it? Why can’t we get ourselves into it, like, completely into it? Why can’t we be 100% in love? Why don’t we make ourselves 100% into it, so that we’ll  face 100% of those? So that we are fully aware that we put ourselves into this things we are dealing with, whether it is good or bad.

Why bother to be afraid of getting hurt? We get hurt every time, just like we get happy every time.

Sequentially, simultaneously.

Even some things that we thought would be bad or could do harm to us in the beginning, turns out to be the best things that could happened in our lives. Just like some wise men say, new shoes always hurt. In my opinion, both the shoes and our feet will adjust with each other through times (metaphorically speaking). We will and we always will adjust with whatever situations we live in. We could repair ourselves, we could heal ourselves, we could change ourselves. We are the ones who fit our feet into the shoes. Which eventually will loosen the the shoes.

Well, I couldn’t agree more that some wounds cannot be healed easily. They might as well stay forever in our heart and give us trauma. Trust me, I dealt with some of those bad things I’ve said before and I admit that I was devastated by them. I felt like the wounds from those events couldn’t be healed with anything and yes, just like ever other human beings, I do feel afraid of getting hurt more than what I’ve managed to get through before. But then again, those wounds admittedly gave me some things to learn. And I learned that those bad times don’t stay forever. They even turned out into great things. Those things turned me into someone different, hopefully better.

So yeah, I’d say that it has nothing to lose, to put ourselves completely into something that we deal with, to put 100% of ourselves into something we feel, to enjoy every bit of it, to experience every drop of it, and to embrace it. I’d love to have crush(es), to fall in love, to try something new, experience broken heart, to take my risk, to step aside from my comfort zone, and always put the most of myself in everything that I’ve decided to live in. I’d let myself  deal with difficulties, to learn serenity from the bad things, and to be grateful from the good things. So that I’ll get most of the lessons to learn from them. Since they wouldn’t last forever, and our lives is just too short to be lived in worries.

Well, I guess it is what we people call with ‘living your life to its fullest’ .

Because, as Charlie Chaplin said,

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles

– D! –


  1. roro

    agree dhe.
    basically gw adalah orang yang postive thinking. Kalo kita meninginkan sesuatu, dan kita hanya menginginkannya sebanyak 10%, sama aja kita ngga menginginkannya. Not enough passion and desire.
    Kalo kita ingin dicintai 100%, kenapa mencintai 10%? are we talking about economic or what?
    Menurut gw, kalo kita sudah memutuskan mencintai seseorang tidak 100%, we simply don’t believe it (or not really want it). Why bother own it?

  2. arief

    reading your writings always make my eyes opened sista…
    so descriptive, directive…
    yet, no more words can say exept AGREE..
    my father ever said that to me in my first broken love experienced. “dont give your love 100%”. well, im dying at that time…
    but its true,like you said before, it make us getting better dealing with life.
    stronger and wiser.

  3. dheasekararum

    @ramda : it doesn’t even make any sense Ram, to give only 10% of your heart. I wouldn’t do anything in the first place if there was only 10% in me got interested with it. It could hardly be done.

    @ Mas Alip : AMEN :p

    – D! –

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