It’s not that I am afraid of having a crush.
Moreover, it is not that I am afraid of having any feeling for someone, feeling those heartbeats, being stupid, being hurt, or to feel the pain, or being in the misery of liking, probably loving, someone.
No, it’s not about that. It just that, maybe I am just tired.
Tired of all of these search. Tired of everything that intrigue me. Tired of flirting, and the guessing, the assumptions, the judgments that need to be done, and maybe tired of contemplating upon everything.
Tired of those rants about finding someone perfect. Tired of those preachy talking about trying to love someone imperfect, perfectly (or at least that’s what they say).
Tired of everything complicated.
For now she can see that she doesn’t need someone remarkably smart, or brilliantly funny. She doesn’t need any cool artist nor photographer. Not even the wise and thoughtful writer, or a famous athlete and those stars. Not the one who holds the top position in any organization he belongs to. Not the rich (parented) boy. Not the geeky nor the nerdy one. Not the one who got the latest gadgets or the trendiest fashion items.
Not any of those.
This tired heart needs something simply sweet. Something that goes downright to its bottom. Someone who asks “how’s your day?” or “what do you think about that?” and actually cares about the answer(s). The one who really talks to it. The one who is willing to let her knows that she is special, that she is worth to fought for. But also the one who will tell her If she did something that makes him mad, so she could fix the mistakes she had done.
For he will know her for who she is, and help her to accept herself .
Someone to make her a better one than she is now.
Someone who stays, in any kind of adversity that will come through.
Someone who goes whole-heartedly.
As simple as that.
Well, I guess that’s what all of us seek :
Before that, let this heart rest a while in silence. Since there have been too much drama around her lately, too much complication. Too much.
This time, let her enjoy the scene, as being the audience is the best of all for now.
For that will make her peacefully tired.
– D! –