This post was originally written by one of my best friends (with whom I am currently dating), Ramda, on his twitter page. I write it down here because I am now in an excruciating fear of losing even more (though I’ve lost almost everything in the past few months). The post somewhat calms me, and reminds me that in everything I’m facing now (and maybe later),
the only thing I can do is to do my best.
We all yearn to find the truth behind relationship. What is it? We only have vague understanding of it. We know that we know nothing. So we follow our desire. We try to be as careful as possible not to give our heart. We failed. We try not to broke any. We failed. We try everything we never thought of, only to dive deeper and deeper into our own secluded space. We begin to face ourselves. As time goes by, we learnt that we can get what we want, but most of the time we don’t really know what we want. And that we know a lot about the people we care, but we never really know our careless selves. We ignore our own faults.
Ultimately we found that relationship is an enlightenment: that you have to be really sure of what you want and wanting what you’re sure of. It highlights your flaws and misguided premises about how things may unfold and the real value of time. It teaches you. It nurtures you. It is not a simple knot as a symbol of strength. Instead, it’s a weaving fabric of time and love. It is the blanket that keeps you warm.
Not everyone is willing to share a blanket. Some want more for themselves, leaving the other a little bit too cold. Leaving them restless. And when you’re willing to share, you’ll find the innermost fragment of yourself. Pieces that may surprise you. Pieces that was unexpected.
Some say the collision of two souls will transform both of them. I’d say we’re not transformed: we’re merely entangled. For which we’re being thankful while it lasts, until gravity and time takes it away. It also gives an important lesson of inevitability:
..that everything is ephemeral. That for the brief time that was given, we have to realize that moments, good or bad, are finite.
And that the brief period of the entanglement is priceless and ever-revealing.